I am talking about feeling anxious and depressed. My entire life the people that I thought should love me the most have swept this kind of stuff under the rug. It was something that no one talked about. If there were problems you didn't tell anyone, because then people would start to talk and then think you were crazy.
I am here to tell you I thought that also for the last 6 to 7 months. When my sister shared a movie with me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYUQ_nlZgWE.
It still took me awhile to come up with the courage to really talk with my husband about everything. I thought maybe he would think that I was going crazy. I had told him that I had a anxiety attack at work and I contacted my sister and she was able to help me through it. My loving and understanding husband sat me down and let me know that he would support me with whatever I decided to do. I was so relieved in that moment.
I have never had problems with this stuff before. I get seasonal depression in the winter because its always dark, but other then that I have never had problems. Then my step son started to have behavior problems and it was really hard to deal with that and work. (That started in November)
Then I got a new student right after spring break in April. He started the second day at the school getting really angry and throwing chairs and being aggressive to other students. It was so over whelming and I felt like I was going crazy. I would go to work and then come home and never get a break. Now I know that some people might think its not a big deal. I am a very sensitive person for anyone that knows me personally. I take everything very personally and I have been this way since I was little. All my parents would have to do is look at me when I did something wrong and I would break down in tears.
Anyway, as this went on I felt like I was losing who I was and I was going crazy. So after watching the movie I mentioned above I decided that once school was over I was going to take some action. I decided to go to the doctor. So with my loving husband by my side. I went to the doctor and told him what was going on. He didn't treat me like I was crazy. He was very kind and understanding. He wants to help me. He told me that he is not in a rush to get me off of the medicine. But he does think that eventually I can go off of the medicine.
I want anyone out there who may be struggling with this to know that you are not alone and you are not crazy. If I have learned anything from this is that I have to take care of myself first before I can take care of anyone else. I am glad that I have so many people that love me and that have my back no matter what.
Just remember take it one day at a time. :)
